


Rules for the Avengers

by bazer63



Series: Rules of the Marvel Cinematic Universe [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:24:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5311034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazer63/pseuds/bazer63
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because everyone seemed to like my SHIELD survival tips fic, I'm going to do a similar series for the main cast. As opposed to a survival series, as half of them are practically indestructible, this is a "life is ridiculous enough as it is, don't make it worse sort of fic."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> While it's called The Avengers, the rules also refer to Daredevil, Deadpool, Spiderman, Loki, Betty/Pepper/Darcy/Jane and all the named SHIELD agents. Enjoy.

1)Fight as one was not written with the Avengers in mind. It is not The Avengers Theme song.

 

2)Tony/Wade/Loki dared me/thought it was a good idea is not an excuse.

 

3)For Science is not an acceptable excuse. Bruce you of all people should know better. Unless it's to make a portal gun. Then it's fine.

 

4)Stop convincing Thor that Unicorns exist. It's not funny.

 

5)No we are not adopting any of Loki's kids.

 

6)That's ridiculous/bullshit is not an excuse to disobey orders.

 

7)Stop dying Bruce's clothes green.

 

8)Stop messing with alien tech. It only ever ends badly.

 

9)Stop trying to get Natasha/Clint/Nick/Maria/Agent to reveal classified information.

 

10)Stop ruining people credit scores when they annoy you Tony. Unless it's General Ross. Because anything to get him of SHIELD's back about Bruce that won't end in a lawsuit is fine by us. It's fucking annoying.

 

11)Stop playing ridiculously loud music at stupid o'clock. You get too little sleep as it is.

 

12)Don't binge watch TV programs/films in your underwear unless it's you bedroom.

 

13)Stop talking about your love lives on nation television. We do not want to know and it makes us look unprofessional.

 

14)Twilight and FSOG are banned.

 

15)Halloween costumes are only acceptable at Halloween.

 

15)The word Christmas is banned outside of December.


	2. Chapter 2

Stop inviting Deadpool over.

Prank Wars, Paintball/Nerf Contests are to be kept out of the main Kitchen and labs.

No chainsaws. At all.

Actually just no Weapons. Yes, that includes your repulsers Tony.

Spider-Man is not allowed to use the ceiling to sneak up on Bruce. Tony has unlimited money, not time.

Spider-Man is not to put webbing in anyone's hair.

The Quintjet is not the Batmobile.

No Breaking the Forth wall.

The Evil Overlod list is not to be shown to bad guys

Fondue jokes aren't funny.

Don't give Steve vintage 46-49 stuff just to show him what he missed.

Don't show Steve porn.

Steve is not your mum. Neither is Coulson.

No we do not have a fraternisation policy for the initiation. But we will make one if you don't get a room, Science Bros.

Don't pretend to be a ghost while you're in the vents.

And no yelling at people from in the vents.


End file.
